Starting Over Is Freedom

January 22, 2011

I mess up. I get in moods. Bad moods. I want to paint but nothing happens. My river of creative ideas slow to a trickle. I put brush to canvas and wish I could push the un-do button. I hate it and start over. Oddly, that is why I like to paint.

Let me try some of this red paint.

I often find I start out in a direction and end up in the wrong spot; or at least on my way to a dead end street. When it comes to painting I learned it is ok because I can simply start over. I can turn around in my mind and use the previous attempts to my advantage. Then I have eliminated the screw-up by using it as a base to build upon. I am not the only one who has ever done this but I have found it helps me out of ruts and frustrating times in my creative existence.

Today I was looking at one of me “re-paintings.” It was an old self portrait I hated to look at. I really never thought it was me anyway. I had decided to paint over it a few weeks ago. Today I looked at it and for some reason threw some bright red latex paint on it. Was this bad move on my part? Perhaps. Then on my way to the kitchen to make some more coffee I saw what I want to do with it. I covered it half again with some white and now I feel better. I have a new idea. Here I go.

What I am trying to get across is that there is no right or wrong in painting and dreaming and making. If something doesn’t seem to be right or it bothers you just go in another direction. Don’t question yourself or wonder too much why you thought a certain way. Just use the passion and energy you had been given and make something. Take off at 100 mph. If it seems wrong at a later date you can cover it up. You can burn it, or sell it, or cut it into pieces and glue it to something new. It is freedom.

It makes me feel better anyway.

-kyle