I paint most every day. Sometimes I paint all day. In between I play songs on my guitar or run. Then I draw a little. Paint on all of my clothes. Paint on my my feet. Paint on the floor. Paint on the latch to the cabinet. In between that I make or deconstruct items to paint upon or dig up an odd job to make a few bucks. I feel a lot of pressure. Pressure to stay afloat. Pressure to stay alive. Pressure to keep those around me content. My dog sleeps all day; all day long. Sometimes when I run I see drunks or strung-out souls walking down the road;
the woman near the gas station or the guy with no shirt or shoes at the bus stop or the corner meat-heads down by Mr. HotFish.
It is hard to keep my website up to date and fresh. It takes a lot of work and I find myself bogged down in other things.Life is a gamble and so is business. Where do you focus your time. On what table do you lay your cards down? I lost a lot of money the other day. I thought I could be a success but this time I was not. Perhaps I can work hard and make it better.
I feel stressed but I do find enjoyment in watching the colors and the paint and trying to make others happy. The reds and blues and yellow and white flowing off the brush. The bright colors melt into the cracks. A few days ago I had a partial meltdown in the local post office. Someone pushed me and I lost my cool; an elbow to my side. When I was in a safe place I later looked back and wondered what that was all about.
When you look in the mirror you should think, “Fix yourself first.” Maybe that should be my new mantra instead of “be nice” or “love your neighbor.”