A Wall Upon My Return

July 9, 2011

I have been gone a long time. I left and returned but still was gone. I do not know how to write using large complicated words or string together complex analogies. I have had a fever upon my return to the south. A burn which clear-cuts the underbrush. I have lost family and perhaps friends as well. I drove or was taken to Newport where the fog rolled in on a summer day. Over 2,ooo miles of driving. Sand and stone. Laughter and sweating eyes. I saw skyscrapers and street food. Pancakes and falafel. I saw dismay and wealth and a rat race. I slept on cots and carpets and wooden plank. I met new friends. I found solace in the moment. Salty air. Diesel coughs. I saw states I have never been to and a statue. Hot smoke filled the air and I sought solice in the pine woods. I returned to my so called home and fell ill. The crash of the waves and silence of floating in the sea. The heat and humidity and depression wore me down. I am in a fog. I saw a wall and spoke to an old black lady. I took photos and soon upon further confirmation I can begin work. I look forward to starting the transition. I will give my thoughts to the concrete. I will brush and roll and stroke the marks upon the rough surface. I wait for the “gift”. Soon the breeze will blow. I feel barren at the moment but the sun always rises again. I took my first hot shower. I comb my beard and thank the Lord. It passes through us and comes back around.

– Kyle